Longing
by instar
Summary: they're at the base now and finding out things they never thought theyd know! CHAPTER 6 UP PLEASE RR! thanks
1. family

a/n: ok hey my first xmen fic! i no theres this silly thing where we'll all get sued if we dont say we dont own the xmen (which i dont, the only one i own is Blanche). so ther now its dun! lol... anyway id like sum "constructive criticism" as my english teacher calls it, so i cn improve nxt time! oh is anyone else excited that accordin to sum random website, X3 - may 2006?? cnt wait =) anyway please read/review, either/or preferably both! lol! thanks!

instar

LONGING

I watched out the window from where I sat by the island in the kitchen. I could see Bobby and Rogue walking in the garden and I hated it, hated the way they still had each other, even though they couldn't touch or kiss each other. I took a bite from my apple, and Jean walked in, asking whether I was okay. I shrugged, muttering that I was tired.

"I know the feeling." She smiled, and I looked up at her, swallowing my mouthful of fruit. "No, really, what's up? You've been looking kind of down recently and we've all known you long enough to be able to notice this kind of thing." I had been at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters for nearly twelve years now, since I was four, nearly five, and this meant that I couldn't remember my real family, except for the things that Xavier and the others told me. My parents were important in the army, and as soon as Xavier had known that I was a mutant, he'd asked Jean and Storm to come and get me, knowing that my mother was good friends with a Colonel who was heavily against mutants.

So I'd been here ever since. I was barefoot and wearing jeans, with a vest top and my long blonde curls were in a bun, with curls falling out and giving it a slightly untidy look. I finished the apple and took my hand away, lingering it in the air until I could be bothered to concentrate on it moving into the trash can near the edge of the room.

"Blanche? Little mover?" I grinned, remembering their little nickname for me when I was little. I had extraordinary powers of telekinesis and I also had limited telepathy as well, with my telekinesis far exceeding (on a normal day at any rate) that of Jean.

"I dunno, I just wish I'd had some semblance of a normal life. That I had a real family." She nodded, following my gaze to Bobby and Rogue, where they were sat awkwardly on a bench. She muttered that it wouldn't last long. "You think?"

"Yeah, I can sometimes hear Rogue, and she's got too many thoughts and stuff, she's not got the temperament to stay. You don't use your telepathy much do you?" I shrugged, saying that sometimes I didn't like knowing what people thought. Plus, the people I bothered probing into could tell, like her and Xavier. "Yeah, we've noticed this!" She laughed and I got a hug as she said she was off to see Cyclops. I nodded, as John walked in, playing with his lighter. I said hi, and he asked whether I'd grab him an apple, sitting down on the worktop. I really wasn't in the mood for his jokes and sent the fruit basket into his stomach, winding him as I turned and walked out, not in the mood to be ordered about.

I walked out into the garden and sat by the pond, looking in the still clear water and seeing my reflection until I rippled the water with my thoughts, not really wanting to see myself at the moment. I heard the crunching of gravel behind me and I spun round to see the Professor there in his wheelchair. I asked him how he was as he stopped by me, saying hi gently, in his quiet polite way.

"I'm alright. We're leaving tonight for a day or so. I'm leaving Logan in charge, but d'you reckon you'll be able to help him keep the school safe?" I shrugged, saying that I was having an off couple of days at the moment, not really being able to do anything useful, just destructive things, with my power. "That's because you haven't got anything to do. Trust me Blanche, you're one of the most trusted students in this school. Some of them will turn to supporting Eric at some point. I don't believe you will."

"Maybe you're wrong," I spat, not really meaning it, but hating the fact that all I had was people seeing me as the girl who lived at the school. The professor asked whether I really thought that, shaking his head in the knowledge that I didn't. "I just... I've never known real life outside the school." He nodded, and saying that maybe one day, when I saw it, I would see why it was better for us hidden away in the school. "When I see it." I whispered, and turned back to the water, which was clearing once more. I hit it with my fingertips and stood up, walking onto the grass barefoot, and walking round the garden as the time passed and the night set in. I watched the jet take off, and sat outside the kitchen. Around eleven I walked inside, and went up to my room to get changed.

My room, I had my own room directly next to Jean and Cyclops, me having been here long before most of the students. I put my silk slip on, leaving my underwear on underneath as I put my silk dressing gown on over the top, it reaching down to my mid-thighs, as did the slip. I padded slowly downstairs, as my hair ragged itself up for the night, as I liked it out the way and it helped it turn into the pretty ringlets it stayed in so much. I could see one of the kids sat in the lounge, watching TV, and I could hear someone else walking around. Logan came down the stairs and asked whether I couldn't sleep either. I nodded, saying I wasn't the only one, gesturing to the light in the kitchen and the kid in front of the TV in the lounge. We started walking along the corridor to the kitchen together, and he asked what my power was, saying he hadn't met me properly before.

"You're a bit slow then, I've been here twelve years. I'm Blanche," he made a face, saying he knew my name but not my power. "My mind does loads of stuff." I replied, and he left it at that, maybe understanding, maybe he couldn't be bothered to ask what it meant. We walked into the kitchen and I saw Bobby there, eating ice cream. I just summoned an unbruised apple – the basket had fallen off the worktop when John had left it – and sat on the worktop in silence. "Bobby, shhh." I whispered, also applying the sentence to Logan.

He started asking what I was hushing them about, but I told him, inside his head, that it was vital we were quiet. I cast my mind back to the little kid, and he was unconscious, the last thing he remembered was soldiers. I screamed as some came into the kitchen, and I hid with Bobby behind the island as the shot the windows to bits in the kitchen, before Logan got his claws into the camouflaged officer. We all ran as fast as we could upstairs, to where the others were all running, panicked, after one of the other members of staff.

I Noticed that Rogue and John weren't with them and told Bobby, both of us running off in search of them until we found them and ended up trapped in a corridor with Logan, and a load of officers, until Bobby put up a wall of ice, and we managed to escape through one of the tunnels to the garage, where we climbed into a car, and Logan drove off, with Rogue sat in the front and me squeezed between Bobby and John in the rear seat. I closed my eyes and sighed, hating the fact my home had been attacked. Bobby asked where we were going. "Boston, Jean and Storm were headed there," Logan replied, and Bobby turned quiet, before saying that his parents lived there. "Great. Directions please Bobby?"

....................

We arrived at Bobby's house when his parents were out, and he took Rogue to get some clothes, knowing it was vital that she covered up, and he stayed in his room as she used to bathroom. I sat on his bed, asking whether he had any other spare girls' clothes. 

"Sorry," he apologised and I shrugged, saying that it didn't matter, I wasn't a danger uncovered as I was. John had to stay in his pyjamas anyway. Bobby sat next to me and asked whether it bothered me that I didn't have a home outside the school.

"They don't either," I replied, gesturing to where John and Rogue were, downstairs. He shrugged, saying I'd never had a home. "I can't remember different. It's weird, watching some of them go home, but I cope. I can't really say it hurts." He asked how my parents reacted about mutants. "Xavier's told me that they help Stryker, and he's organising this mess we're in at the moment. Maybe I'll see them." I said blankly, showing no emotion in my voice as I looked at the wall. "We'd better go downstairs," he muttered, and we got down just as his parents were looking worriedly at the other three stood in the kitchen.

"Mom, dad, I've got something to tell you." They seemed shocked enough to see him not at school, let alone with two people in night clothes, one in his mother's clothes and one adult. This would be hard to explain out of. I stood by John, and when he started playing with his lighter, I willed it into my hands, and looked over at him, 'telling' him to stop being such an idiot in front of Bobby's parents.

"Why?" He hissed, and I turned towards him, muttering that Bobby's parents didn't know and it would be best to encourage friendly feelings towards us. "They don't like us Blanche, they wont just like us because we're nice guys. The fact is, we're better than them," I cut him off here, saying we weren't, we were just different. "You're wrong."

"If I'm wrong, why are we the ones on the run?" I replied, walking out the room, after asking Bobby's mother whether I could have a drink. She nodded, telling me to help myself and I thanked her politely before I left the room, leaving Bobby and the others to explain. I started drinking out of the glass of water, and heard Bobby's brother coming through. He turned slowly to me as he headed towards the stairs, and asked what my name was. "I'm Blanche, you're Ronnie, right?" He nodded, asking how I knew. "Bobby speaks very highly of you," I replied, and he looked levelly at me and asked what my parents had said.

I looked at the ground and put my glass down on the worktop, looking him in the eye as I said that they didn't know. I'd seen Storm and Jean in my garden, and they'd told me what I was. They'd told me what my parents did, what they'd do if they knew, and I'd just left with them. I hadn't seen my parents since I was four years old.

"What do you do?" He asked cautiously, and I looked at my glass of water, concentrating my gaze, and I lifted it up, keeping it so steady not even a ripple showed in the water, and made it float back into my hands. I looked up at him, and he looked from the glass to my face again, asking whether I wanted to hurt him.

"No," Ronnie seemed confused, asking whether I hated normal people like him. "I'm afraid of you." I answered quietly, and he looked taken aback as I gazed into his eyes – the ones that were so much like Bobby's it was almost like looking into his eyes and telling him these things. "I'm scared of what my parents would do, I'm scared of what the soldiers have done with my friends, I'm scared what they'd do to me... I don't want to die because I've got a power that I was born with." He suddenly backed away, saying he didn't understand, and he ran up the stairs, as I turned, and could hear Bobby's mother asking him whether he could not be a mutant, and how it was a bad thing.

I looked sadly over towards the wall where there were pictures of him and his family, and gently made one fly off the wall, into my hands. It was relatively recent and it showed him, his mother and father, and his brother. I heard Logan come back inside, saying we had to leave, now, and John ran past me, slipping his hand inside my pocket, and taking his lighter.

"Give it back, don't you hurt them," I called as I ran with them and followed them out. There were police everywhere, and they were telling Logan to put knives down, the ones that were embedded in his arms. I looked round, and they called out more and more, until one of them shot Logan in the forehead. Rogue screamed, and we all dropped to the floor except for John, who flicked his lighter, and took a ball of fire in his hand. I called out to Rogue, who struggled with her gloves but couldn't get them off in time.

As the fireball roared in the direction of the police officers, I used my powers to push as many of them out of the way of the fire as possible, until Rogue managed to calm the fire and Logan stood up. The cars were decimated, and some people had been hurt, but I knew that I'd been right in pushing some of them to safety.

The jet arrived and I picked up the photo from the floor without Bobby having seen it. We all rushed onto the jet, and Rogue sat near the front with Logan, and some guy I'd never met before, and Bobby and I sat near the back. I pulled out the photo, and leant over towards him, asking him whether he was okay.

"What do you think? My family did this..." He replied, and I looked down at the picture, handing it to him, saying I was sorry it was cracked, but I'd had to lie on it when the police had told us to get to the floor. I summoned John's lighter to my side, and told him that he'd done enough damage to last a lifetime. "Blanche... You didn't need to do this."

"At least you remember them."

a/n please review! i no tis not very good but id like sum feedback to know how to improve next time. thanx!

instar


	2. caught

A/N: thanks to freelancer88! I needed sum enoucragment... I didn't really intend on continuing the story, but I had this bit more which I thought I could add on, and I'll continue if reading-shaped people think I should??? Lol! Oh n im not blanche, I don't write me stories... this may not be as interesting, but it kinda explores Blanche's power more, and stuff... hmmm yeah please review more! Thanks muchly! Keep smilin evry1! =) instar  
  
Longing chapter two (wow! Not so good on more chapters so this is a shocker!)  
  
Bobby looked over at me, apologising that he hadnt thought about that, as he held my hand tightly, looking me directly in my eyes and asking what I'd told Ronnie.  
  
"I told him I was scared of normal people. He ran off, and I don't see why he would have done such a thing."  
  
Bobby nodded, saying he didn't understand either. His touch lingered, until Rogue started walking backwards down the jet, and he looked away.  
  
I let my eyes linger for a second, until Rogue gently brushed past me and I felt something move out of me, like I had the breath knocked out of me. I was recovering for a second, and I heard Rogue's voice in my head, and knew she'd done it to talk to me silently.  
  
'I know how you feel. I can see it, he feels the same. Don't be scared,' she said, and I looked over at her, to see her doing her gloves up. I reached over and hugged her, whispering in her ear that I couldn't. "Why not?" she murmured in reply.  
  
I just shook my head, musing that now wasn't the time for anything like that.  
  
"I disagree. Now you need him more than ever. I don't need him at all." I looked her in the eyes, and she nodded, stepped back down the plane and doing up her seatbelt, as I looked over at Bobby, smiling coyly, and reaching over to hold his hand in my own.  
  
He had a sad look in his eyes, and I wondered whether his parents would ever want him back. I wondered sometimes whether my parents would change their mind about the mutant thing if they knew I was one, but deep inside I knew that it was a useless fight.  
  
I curled up in my seat and closed my eyes, buckling the seatbelt around me just in case. I fell asleep, but could hear people around me, what they were thinking, their thoughts. I listened to each in turn, and knew that I shouldn't, but I had to, I was too tired to bother trying to block them out. Bobby came first.  
  
'Maybe she just thought I'd like it,' he was musing to himself, about the picture, but I knew different. I had known about the rejection and was getting prepared, to face the tragedy of being alone. At least he'd be able to remember what it was like. Then I turned to Logan.  
  
'Alkali lake, under the surface? Why didn't I think of that? If he does anything to those kids and the professor I'll never forgive myself.' I could see images of a snow-covered place in the mountains, and somehow knew that we were headed there. Rogue was next.  
  
'That was cool, but does she always get those voices? I'd go insane. I was right to tell her and Bobby, she's liked him for so long, I could just tell. Maybe I'm psychic too?'  
  
'Wish she'd give my lighter back, it's not as if I can use it much up here is it?' I smiled, and sent it hovering over to him, telling him silently to be safe using it.  
  
'Christ, this camp, if we go there, Blanche'll see her parents... We should have left her somewhere,' I instantly replied to Jean, asking her inside her head whether I would see my parents, whether it was real or just a possibility. 'I don't want to raise any hopes, and your parents arent the nicest of people to mutants, but yes, they're working with Stryker.'  
  
I cut off the others, and sat there, curled up and with my eyes shut, thinking about what life could have been like if I wasn't a mutant, and I hadnt been taken away from my parents. Or if I had just been left with them, as I was.  
  
I did manage to get some sleep, but when I woke up, we were hovering just feet above the ground, and there was a person stood in front of the air craft.  
  
By the time we were safely lowered to the ground, I had just about gathered that this was Magneto (Eric, one of Xavier's old aquaintences) and his friend was Mystique, a shape shifter. I knew of Magneto, from Rogue and the others about the thing that had happened on Ellis Island a while ago.  
  
We filed off the jet, and I shivered, as Logan asked Jean whether there were any decent clothes on the jet for me. She nodded, directing me to the clothes locker, where I found a pair of pair of trainers, some sports trousers, and a shirt and jacket.  
  
I looked like a walking X-Men advert by the time I was dressed up, and Jean winced, asking whether I could be any more conspicuous. I shrugged, muttering that it wasn't my fault. I walked over to the edge of the clearing, and sat on a log that seemed to be very conveniently placed. I put my head in my hands and tried to keep my thoughts from wandering, knowing that I'd only end up with a headache.  
  
But they did wander, and I ended up in Xavier's head, looking around. What really confused me was that when I tried to find out where he was, all I could see was the mansion in the sunshine.  
  
There was a little girl there, and I was shocked to find myself as a separate entity to Xavier, where I was stood in a triangle with Xavier and the little girl. She had one blue eye and one brown eye, with curly mouse hair, and she was wearing a nightie. I was still wearing my 'x-jet' track kit, and Xavier was sat in his wheelchair, perfectly smart in the suit he was normally wearing.  
  
"What are you doing here, you don't need to be here?" The little girl said, and Xavier turned towards me, asking me what I was doing in the mansion alone. "She's trespassing, she's being a bad girl," the little girl said, and I turned to her, asking her what her name was.  
  
She didn't say anything and shut up promptly, as I told Xavier that we needed his help.  
  
"We'll help when we get to Cerebro." I shook my head, saying he should wait, and the little girl seemed to get more upset, insisting that the professor get to Cerebro. Eventually they walked off, and I could see another little girl stood in front of me, telling me I should stay.  
  
"But I need to go back to the woods, see Bobby," I murmured, and the little girl didn't let my eyes away from her own. I could feel something happening in my head and I frowned, narrowing my eyes at her. "What are you doing to my head?" She made a face, asking what I was. "I'm exactly the same as you, a mutant. Who's your dad?"  
  
"William Stryker, he knows your mother, he's going to tell them where you are, they still don't know what you are. Magneto told him what you were." I shook my head, as it started to hurt, stabbing pains from being caught in a mind and getting too stuck in.  
  
That doesn't happen very much, just when someone either wont let you out, or you cant get yourself out.  
  
I could see my surroundings flicker, as I struggled to get out, until the little girl disappeared, and I saw one last glimpse of the professor, sat in a chair with something on his head in a green room, not the school, as the images faded out and I managed to slide out of his head.  
  
My head hurt from the energy, and being out of my own head too long. Jean was over the clearing and without the energy to call out or do anything I fell off the log, trying to call out. I managed to project my thoughts, instead of talking, which hurt my head with the sheer volume of noise at the moment.  
  
Only Jean turned round, and she saw me sprawled on the floor, clinging onto the log and clutching onto my head, which was full of the images of the little girl, and her leading the professor away, and the images of the green room. I couldn't get rid of these images and they flickered before my eyes, taking away my real vision as she ran over, asking what was wrong as she held my head in her warm hands, asking whether I was okay and trying to get inside to understand.  
  
"Get out, it's like a disease," I thought loudly and she asked me aloud what was going on inside my head and what was going on. "I couldn't help it, my thoughts went to the professor, he was at the mansion with a little girl, she talked to me, and wouldn't let me leave, but it hurt, and I couldn't go, too many things were keeping me there."  
  
Jean held me as the images became fewer and farther in between, until they had practically stopped.  
  
"It was only an illusionist, don't worry. It wasn't real."  
  
"She could control me, even though I was in someone else's head. She had control over him, and she could control me too, it hurt so much." I whispered, and hot tears burnt my cheeks. John walked over, asking what was going on, and whether I was okay. I still couldn't move, from the energy drain it had taken, and I wondered whether the little girl had taken my energy, and what she was doing with it.  
  
"It wasn't a little girl, she was just an illusion," I nodded, and Jean asked John to go and get Logan, saying that I'd better sleep on the jet that night. I wanted to disagree, but I was feeling the cold right down every inch of me at the moment, so I didn't. Logan came over, and asked Jean what was going on as he saw me sat, resting heavily against the log.  
  
"She got stuck in an illusion that's in Xavier's head. It drained all of her energy, she's so tired." He nodded, and picked me up, taking me through to the main part of the jet, where I curled up and had a rug over me, so I could sleep in the warm.  
  
I closed my eyes, my head still throbbing with the effort it had taken to draw out, and the energy the little girl, or whoever she was, had taken out of me.  
  
a/n: u like? If u like, tell me and I mite be convinced to continue! But im on exams at the moment so may take a while, cuz this I had writen ages ago, jus only up to here! Lol, anyway, please give any 'constructive criticism' but don't be nasty =) instar 


	3. creation

A/n: new chapter, as in completely brand new and before this, unseen by anyone cept me! Ooooh excitement! Anyways, this is chapter three of Longing, and to verify anything that hasn't been understood – Rogue/Bobby no more but Blanche/Bobby not going at the moment, only they've realised they've liked each other for ages (thanks to rogue!) Anyway please r/r? Keep smilin evry1! =) Instar  
  
Longing Chapter 3  
  
As everyone else filed into the jet the morning after, I remained st on the chair and just looked around me. I was pretty much full strength again, but being caught had scared me. It'd never really happened before, except when someone was playing a joke, so it wasn't that hard to break out when someone did.  
  
I watched people, trying not to listen – I didn't like listening in, it was like I was invading their personal space, and it felt wrong to pry and wonder round, though I had done on several occasions – usually when I was bored enough for it to not feel wrong, or when I needed to use my powers because I got headaches if I didn't use them enough. I was curious about the new addition, Nightcrawler – Kurt. I looked at him, tilting my head to one side and surveying him with a soft gaze.  
  
"We love what you've done with your hair," Magneto laughed at Rogue, and I concentrated on filtering my thoughts through the blocking helmet, trying to tell him to keep his ugly thoughts to himself. "Cant reach me," he muttered, tapping his helmet as he pointed to me.  
  
"Oh yeah, how did you know I was trying?" I asked, and he hushed, for a few minutes only before he started talking to John. Bobby turned and looked over at me, asking whether I was alright. "Yeah, course I am! I was just seeing whether I could get through his helmet," I nodded in the direction of Magneto, and he turned his attention to John.  
  
"Blanche, did it hurt?" I asked him what he was talking about. "When you... when you got stuck in?" I shook my head, asking what he really wanted to know. I hadnt pried, I'd only sensed that he hadnt really meant that. "When you found out your family didn't want you."  
  
"Did I ever tell you about how I got to Xavier's? I was there before you remember?" He shook his head, muttering that I hadnt told him what had happened. "I had parents once. I don't remember them, I was five when I left there. Xavier could tell I was a mutant and he knew who my parents were. They were strong supporters of Stryker, and it's him whose coordinating this mess we're in now." I took a deep breath and looked down at my hands, before looking back up, straight ahead rather than at Bobby. "They might even be there."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Alkali Lake. I might see them." Bobby asked what that would mean and I shrugged, muttering that I had no idea, maybe it meant that I'd see them, and they'd realise why I went missing. Maybe they'd be happy to see me, and maybe they'd want to kill me for what I was. I didn't know what to expect or what I wanted from them. I lost myself in my own thoughts for once, not wary of disturbing anyone I roamed my mind, seeing everything I was thinking written out exactly for me to see.  
  
Bobby moved off to talk to Rogue – and I accepted that they would have stuff to sort out. I looked up at Kurt next to me and I couldn't help my mind from slipping into his, it came so effortlessly – sometimes too easy once you'd been reading someone's mind. I could see some memories of his circus days, where he'd been seen as a wonder, not a freak as we were now. Most of us had experienced rejection at some time or other, and it hurt. I could only imagine what it felt like to be rejected by people you used to know intimately, and love as a family.  
  
We were getting close, I could tell by the coldness in the air, and the anticipation which radiated from Logan's body. It was so strong I could have sensed it was I not telepathic. Bobby, Rogue and John had an air of confusion about them, even though John's was masked by a seal of confidence. They didn't know about what was going to happen, I could tell this much at least. They didn't want to die through this mission to save the proffessor, and possibly to save something else... I could feel that there was something else at stake here I just wasn't sure what it was. I could sense that it was something big, just how big I wasn't sure.  
  
"Blanche, we're going to need your help," Jean said quietly, breaking inside my trance-like state as I jerked back to reality. I asked why, confused, and she muttered that I was the only one with advanced enough powers to reach out to Stryker and find out where the 'command centre' was.  
  
"Okay, when d'you want me to try?"  
  
"Now if you're feeling up to it." I sighed and nodded, trying to relax myself so my head wouldn't hurt if I tried to wander again. I hadnt used my powers this much in years, since I'd first become aware of exactly what it was I could do.  
  
I concentrated on Stryker, trying to filter my way through his present thoughts, trying not to be noticed. It wasn't hard for someone who rarely had his head probed into – it was people like the proffessor and Jean that noticed. I searched through his thoughts for the mental map that took him round the base without a problem. I could instantly see the route from the slipway entrance to the command centre.  
  
I told Jean about it once I slipped out, and then slipped back in of my own accord to see if he knew anything about my parents. I knew my last name, though I hadnt used it in years, and knew what to look for, Treamore. It didn't take long. From what I could gather in the little time I was in there – trying not to make it obvious I was probing – they were Doctors, research scientists that had developed a mutant control serum – the one that had been used by Stryker to subdue Kurt and Magneto.  
  
They had also been the ones to 'create' the Wolverine. Logan.  
  
A/n I know it's shorter than the other ones, but I also thought that would be the ideal place to end a chapter! What d'you think? Keep smiling =) instar 


	4. reasons

A/n: ok here's where we find out more about Blanche's parents, and she gets her 'real name', as Magneto puts it. So, well, read? Please! Keep smiling =) Instar  
  
LONGING CHAPTER 4  
  
I looked over at Logan, shivering slightly in my seat as I realised what it meant, that my parents had 'created' him as we knew him. Put those claws in his forearms. I wondered whether he knew this. I doubted he'd have made the connection even if he did know – what was there to link Dr Peter and Dr Helena Treamore to Blanche – the girl at Xavier's with no surname and no family.  
  
If anyone noticed me looking shifty, they didn't mention it. I looked out beyond where Storm was directing the jet, and gasped at the expanse of White that lay everywhere, in such a pureness it almost hid the horrors that were going on under the surface, almost acting as a decoy. I sighed and sat back, wondering whether we would be going with them, or whether Rogue, Bobby, John and myself would be given the task of 'guarding the jet'. I wanted to go, and face my parents, see them reject me for what I was, and then reject them for their work. Somehow I doubted Jean and Storm would let me, and even so I tried.  
  
"Will me saying no change your mind?" Jean asked, and I realised she'd been watching over my thoughts, asking herself whether to let me or not. I shook my head, and she took a deep breath, asking Bobby, Rogue and John whether they'd stay with me if I went inside the building. They nodded ferociously, knowing that it would be the only way of getting in on the mission.  
  
"You go in and you find the others, is that understood?" Storm asked, and I nodded, asking whether I'd find my parents, dropping a silence on the jet in an unmistakeable shock from those that hadnt known. "Then you get the hell out of there."  
  
I looked at them, and down at myself, and wondered whether it would be remotely possible to wear anything else. The navy 'X' training set was not exactly designed to escape the notice of others. Jean shook her head, and muttered that I'd have to try and act as inconspicuous as I could, dressed as I was. I nodded and looked out the main glass shield at the front of the jet, asking whether we were landing soon.  
  
"Yeah, we're really close now, and we cant get much closer."  
  
"Okay," I could feel a slight waver in my voice and I wished I didn't feel so scared or nervous, surely my parents wouldn't want to abandon me and reject me in such a dramatic fashion that I'd get hurt? Or worse still, if one of my friends got hurt. I couldn't bear for that to happen, especially if it was because of me.  
  
As the jet drew to a stop, landing gently on the ground, I pushed my hair out my way, mentally twisting the hair into a braid, so it was kept there. Bobby, Rogue and John stood up, asking whether we were off.  
  
"No, we're not in yet," Jean replied, and I shook my head, pointing to a small place on the map, saying that there was a door there where we could get in, and it would probably be better for us to go in where there were less soldiers, rather than them who were trying to make an impact on the base. "Okay. But remember, get the kids out and then back, any of your parents is not important." I nodded, not wanting to agree but knowing I could always lose myself if I wanted to, and 'accidentally' find them.  
  
I hadnt seen them in twelve years. Twelve years and all I had were blurry pictures, if that. I wanted to know why they hated mutants so much I'd had to be taken away by strangers at age four. Were they scared of us? Or did they just hate us for being different? Surely that was no better than racism?  
  
I didn't really know what to think anymore, when I thought about them. They'd created Logan, they could control mutants, make them do whatever they wanted them to. I saw Logan, his face set, and knew he was determined to find out about his past. I wondered secretly whether my parents would tell him even if he came across them. I doubted it, from what I had heard about my parents.  
  
I looked up as we came in to land, and as the engine stopped, I stood up with everyone else, and we all looked towards the gangway, up at each other, and then walked down it as it lowered itself to the ground.  
  
We knew, somehow, that we could die going in there, but everyone had something to do in there, and no one cared about the risks. All they cared about was making a difference.  
  
..............................  
  
I walked along next to Magneto, and he asked me whether Blanche was my real name. I looked round at him and he raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Kinetica."  
  
................................................  
  
a/n sorry its so short! Iv been on exams n partying when they were dun, and iv got my german exchange parttner over! Lol! But shud be updating soon, I want to explore her parents' involvement in Logan as much as u prob wanna no! lol! Oh yeah and I got stuk for a name so I just built summat round kinesis, might be good might not... oh well! Lol anyway please r/r! instar 


	5. answers

A/n: sorry its taken so long to get 5th chapter up. I've had exmas, actual school, and homework, and my boyfriend's gone to spain for a coupla weeks, so I've been not really in the mood. But now my creative juices are flowing again and I would like to dedicate this chapter to my sam, who is my muse (I know normally the girls the muse but sam gives me my inspiration for everything I ever write), and the love of my life (and don't say its corny cuz I know it is but its true =) hes my angel )  
  
Anyway, please read and review, I love hearing what people think of my stories (ie little diva16, cuz you give SO much nice support and I love it! Thanks =) ) From me! Instar  
  
Longing Chapter Five  
  
We let Logan on ahead, and I held Jean back for a second, muttering that there was a back escape door which we should use if we wanted to get in unnoticed. She sent Bobby, Rogue, John and myself running in that direction, trying to get out of the plain view which the snow put us in as soon as possible.  
  
I muttered to Bobby, as we snuck into the back door, that the children were on the floor below, so I wasn't the only one knowing whereabouts we were heading. I felt his hand grasp my for a second, his smile sending courage through my veins as we started walking through the building. I lead the way, the only one who knew exactly where we were going, and we had to stop suddenly before turning onto the main corridor. I held my breath, as did the others, panic breathing setting in as we knew that if we got caught we may as well be dead.  
  
"Helena, he's here, he's going to want to know about his past, what do we tell him?"  
  
Their footsteps stopped, and I strained to hear what they were saying.  
  
"The truth Peter, he volunteered for the operation. He wanted to see how brilliant he could become." Peter replied, muttering that that wasn't the entire truth. "What d'you want me to say? Wolverine, we drugged the Logan you were to experiment and see if you would survive the procedure and fight for us, against the freaks that all of humanity despises?"  
  
"I like the other truth more."  
  
"Good, so do I." There was a hollowness to their voices, and as the walked past I strained my neck to see their faces, and there was an empty sadness, an empty purpose to what they were doing. They were still mourning for the daughter they had lost all those years ago.  
  
I wondered secretly whether they'd still love me when they knew what I was, whether their empty sadness would turn to an unrelenting hatred. I honestly didn't know. Then I realised that the others were standing there in silence, wondering about the conversation between the two scientists. Wondering about their similarity to me?  
  
"Blanche, were they... were those people your parents?" I nodded, saying I knew my parents' names were Helena and Peter and they were scientists and I was now jumping to the conclusion that they were my parents. "They made Wolverine? God, that's weird!" I was suddenly overcome by an urge to not care of the consequences and go after my parents, find whether they still wanted me, and I burst out with a sudden explosion of energy, running after them and yelling Helena and Peter at the top of my voice.  
  
"BLANCHE NO!" I heard Rogue shout, but by this point I didn't really care. They didn't follow me, at least not close behind. I think they were thinking what to do first. I caught up with Helena and Peter Treamore quickly, and they were looking at me with a weird kind of look on their faces; confusion and recognition all at once, and disbelief.  
  
"Can we help you?" Peter replied to my yells and sudden silence, raising his eyebrows and staring at me with a strange look in his eyes.  
  
"I... I'm looking for Dr Peter and Dr Helena Treamore."  
  
"Who are you?" Helena replied, a coldness to her voice that I didn't remember. But then, I didn't really remember much of them.  
  
"My name's Blanche, I think you're my parents."  
  
There was a striking silence as they took in what I'd just said.  
  
"I think you must be mistaken. Our little girl disappeared years ago, how would she know how to find us?"  
  
"Because the people she was staying with told her all about you. They even brought her here, where she knew she'd find you."  
  
"How did she know?"  
  
"She's psychic. Will you hate her for it?"  
  
"You mean she's telepathic?" It was starting to weird me out, talking about myself in the third person, but it seemed to be working on holding their tempers so far.  
  
"And telekinetic, yeah. She misses you. She misses having a family."  
  
"Who took her away?"  
  
"People who thought you'd kill her once you found out what she was."  
  
"A mutant." Helena murmured quietly. I nodded, and she asked why I'd never tried before, talking to me directly for the first time.  
  
"Because I never left the mansion before. Til the attack that Stryker bought. He destroyed the only home I've ever known." Peter asked why I'd thought of the mansion of my kidnappers at home. "Because they didn't kidnap me. They thought they were saving me."  
  
"You want to know whether we still love you?" I nodded, my eyes widening and wondering what they were going to say. "Blanche, we spent years looking for you. I know you don't know that but never mind. We are scientists. We know all about genetics. We know that you're normal."  
  
"Then why are you killing us?" I heard someone say from behind me, and spun round to see John there, with Rogue and Bobby. John was the one who'd spoken.  
  
"Because we are the country's top research and development scientists. We couldn't say no without putting ourselves in danger. And things become... somewhat different when you know its your own blood." I heard Rogue asked why it made the difference, they were other people's blood and they'd still been rejected by their parents; their blood. "They're blind. Ignorant."  
  
'Just like the rest of the world. The rest of the world we're going to destroy.' I heard a resounding echo, and recognised the voice instantly. I'd involuntarily heard someone's thoughts, something that hadnt happened in ages.  
  
"Magneto... he's going to do something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Destroy... destroy..." I concentrated on filtering my thoughts through his helmet. "I cant figure it out... Give me time I'll keep trying."  
  
"Keep trying while we destroy your kind." I looked up and saw my parents running off, and when I tried to follow them, I got round the corner before I noticed that a door had run home behind me, separating me from Bobby, Rogue, John and the way out.  
  
a/n: oooh excitement... what will happen? Will she get out of the dam alive? Oooooh! Anyway please r/r chap 6 should be up real soon I have loads of time on my hands atm! Please r/r From me! instar 


	6. escape

A/n: shocker I know to have chap 6 up this quick! Normally I'm crap at updating and now I'm racing forwards, tis quite cool really... anyway I thought I'd better update loads now cuz im going to france in a week (near the pyrenees if anyone cares) for three weeks =P Anyway here y'are, sixth part of Longing. Please r/r From me! Instar PS if anyone can tell me how to get asterisks to appear on the editing page, would be welcome!  
  
**Longing Chapter 6**  
  
I stared behind me, stopped still in the corridor, and could hear banging on the door. I wondered who'd closed the door, who would have tried to trap me with my parents? But then I realised that the doors would have taken enough time to close, before slamming home just as I ran through.  
  
I heard Bobby yelling my name, and I told him silently that I was alright, and to get away from the door. I knew that something this heavy would require a lot of work, and I wasn't sure I could do it without harming anyone. I stood back and concentrated on the seam between the door and the wall, concentrated on the door sliding out of place and opening up the corridor once more.  
  
It was hard, so hard my head started to hurt, but then the door slid back open, and revealed the others, waiting patiently, and impatiently at the same time.  
  
"Blanche," Bobby sighed warmly, running forwards and wrapping his arms round me warmly. I relaxed into his arms and rested my head on his chest, calming myself and trying to call my strength back together. He ran his fingers through my hair and I held on tight, as Rogue and John stood back, both of them panicked by the betrayal of my parents. "Why didn't you tell us?"  
  
"I thought you'd hate me." He shook his head, saying that they could never hate me, I wasn't them, I was me, Blanche. I'd always be Blanche, the girl with no last name to them. I'd always be the Blanche they knew, not Blanche Treamore, daughter of the scientists Peter and Helena Treamore.  
  
"Uh, guys?" John asked, and we turned to him, drawing apart. "Let's go." We continued on the route that we were following before my parents had walked past, and followed the dark, bleak corridors that ran throughout the dam. We had just reached the stairs when there was an almighty crash, and the whole dam seemed to shake. I crouched down with the others, and Bobby voiced all of our thoughts.  
  
"What the hell was that?" I shook my head, whispering that I didn't know, as we all grouped together, and I looked towards the walls, my mind running along them, and feeling Stryker's panic, feeling the panic of everyone in here who knew what that could mean. I filtered myself into Stryker's mind and saw his trains of thought. I saw the picture of the drip onto his glasses that he was seeing and suddenly realised exactly what was going on.  
  
"Hurry," I murmured, and started running down the stairs with the others in close pursuit as Rogue asked what was going on. "There's a leak in the dam, soon enough the dam wont be able to cope and we wont be able to get out. We have to get out before we drown."  
  
There was a resounding silence, as we turned onto the corridor the children were on, and were suddenly struck down by the searing pain that ran through our skulls and down our spines, through our bodies and splitting us apart. I screamed with Rogue and the yells of the boys couldn't even break through our minds, they were so cut off by the pain.  
  
It was like nothing I had ever felt before, I was in so much pain, it was hard to believe how something could hurt this much. It was worse that getting stuck in someone's mind, and that was one of the most excutiating experiences I had ever been through. I opened my eyes and through the twisted image I had of the world around me I could see the others curled up in the same pain. I followed the source of the pain, and could feel the professor's mind in all of our minds. Cerebro... I couldn't think anymore, and was prepared to give up and let the pain take over.  
  
When it stopped. I was shocked by the lack of pain, and looked up to see Bobby, John and Rogue looking as confused as I felt. None of us could figure out a reason behind the killing pain in our heads, and what had caused it's sudden appearance, and then disappearance. We all stood up shakily, and I turned to Bobby, as he asked what that was.  
  
"Cerebro." I replied simply. Rogue asked what I meant, what about Cerebro, as the other two just asked what I was on about full stop. "The professor has a machine that helps him magnify his telepathy, so he can be connected to anyone, or everyone on the planet. Or certain groups. If he concentrates hard enough on one of these certain groups, then he can kill them."  
  
"But Cerebro's back at the mansion..."  
  
"The soldiers!" John replied, suddenly cottoning on as to the real reason why the soldiers had come to attack the mansion. I nodded and it seemed like everyone was on the same page for the first time in ages.  
  
I reached out and could tell that the dam was going to collapse, and Storm and Kurt had the children. I looked at Rogue and asked whether she could maneuver the jet. She asked why.  
  
"It's too far away, they'll never make it to the jet before the dam collapses. They still havent found the professor and Logan's gone missing. Shall we run back to get it?" Everyone nodded, apart from John, who I noticed was missing. By the time I reached inside his head I already knew where he'd gone. Bobby asked quietly where he was, and I whispered a couple of words in the smallest voice I could manage, not wanting to make it real. "With Magneto."  
  
We started running back up the stairs, and along the corridors, through the maze that would lead us back onto the snow. Eventually we stepped onto the fleaming white snow, and looking up at the dam, knew we had very little time. We ran as fast as we could, trying not to sink in the snow, or get left behind, or get too cold to move. I looked back at the helipad, and noticed somebody sat there. My father was there, writhing in agony. I stopped.  
  
"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked and I shook my head, saying I wasn't doing this, there was nothing I could do about it. "What's happening?"  
  
"Exactly the same thing that was going to happen to us. But Jean'll stop it before it kills you."  
  
We carried on running, and I wished I could look back, look back and help my father, see if I could change his mind. But no, in a way I wished I'd never met them. I wished I'd never had the opportunity to meet them and tell them what I was. Wondering had been better than knowing I was to be rejected.  
  
I nearly collapsed, so exhausted from the running, as we arrived at the jet, but waited til we were inside, where Rogue's gloved hands grabbed ahold of the controls and turned to me and Bobby, asking what to do.  
  
In spite of my aching mind, I went into Jean's mind and went searching for the controls. Eventually I crawled forwards, and pushed forwards one stick, and hit a few buttons, telling Rogue to steer. She did, panicked and as Bobby clung onto a chair, I was flung across the jet, my head hitting the hard walls as the jet went flying towards the ground and the last thing I heard before I passed out were Rogue's screams.  
  
_Bobby turned round and saw Blanche lying on the floor, her blonde hair strewn over her face as she lay there, still as the jet ceased to move. Rogue kept clinging to the controls, still shook up, as Bobby ran over to Blanche and lifted her head up, shaking her and asking whether she was okay.  
  
"She'll be okay, she's just tired." Professor Xavier explained, as he appeared on a chair near the front as Storm prised Rogue from the controls. "She's had a hard few days; stuck in my head, moving doors, searching people's minds, nearly being killed, and then your sprint over, before she was knocked unconscious. Just leave her on the chair."  
  
"The jet wont start!" Storm exclaimed, and Jean tried some more buttons, and they all tried manically to re-start the jet.  
  
The next thing they knew, the gangway was slamming back into place, and Jean was walking onto the snow, with no one able to get to her._

a/n: slightly fast moving I know, but my imaginations kinda died since my muse went to spain =( and the weather's crap so theres not much interesting going on here! oh yeah, oooh have just discovered how to change text! lol! Anyway, please r/r! From instar 


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